Sometimes we try so hard to resist familiarity, in the hope that we’ll appear strong enough to withstand new things. We push away all things that we are comfortable with, in order to show we are just fine without them.
I do it, too. Except for Starbucks.
It’s not for the overpriced coffee or the extra pumps of sugary syrup the chain dumps into their lattes. It’s not to indulge in some American obsession I’m too weak to resist.
Starbucks is my home base. It’s the place I can curl up in an oversized chair with my oversized coffee and work on my homework. It’s the place every Spaniard criticizes me for going to, and every American guiltily loves to meet me at.
It’s my American bubble in a foreign land.
It’s also the place where I realize how different things were when I was drinking this same latte a few months ago in Los Angeles.
I would have wondered if the person next to me was some top executive that could get me far in life. Now I wonder if the English-speaking girl next to me could be my best friend.
In fact, I just found out she is a flamenco dancer from Amsterdam that studied at NYU, and is now visiting Sevilla – her favorite city in the world. People like her, like my CC-CS friends, like the waiters at our favorite cafe I’ve become close with, teach me more about friendship every day.
I would have slurped up my latte and gone back for extra espresso shots. Now I realize a little siesta will do the job without the stress. I take time for myself, and I don’t feel guilty about it.
In fact, I’ve discovered pleasure through it.
As I look at the Zara across the street, the Spanish girl’s clothing obsession, I don’t calculate how many spendy pieces of clothing I can grab in one day. I think about browsing through the store for enjoyment, and maybe making a mental note of something small for a later date.
In fact, I may not need it at all.
When I get dressed in the morning, I don’t think about how I can show off everything on me anymore. I think about how I can show off my personality. Never in my life have I felt so valued as a person, as simply Kelsey, as I have here in Sevilla.
Never have I felt so comfortable with who I am, and so peaceful in my state of life. I don’t need to be a succesful young entreupeneur at the age of 18. I don’t need to be on the fast track to stardome in California. I don’t need to do something spectacular to be loved.
I can be loved by my friends and family because I am just normal Kelsey, me. And that’s something I’ve never told myself before.
Sevilla has a charm that it has rubbed off on me without me noticing for quite some time. It is a city that is quietly content with who it is, and what it has to offer.
And that’s what makes it so beautiful.
So as I finish my caramel latte in this Sevillan Starbucks, I look out at the city that is bustling outside the window. It is changing me day by day, and I am okay with that. I just never expected it to.
NO8DO 🙂 It will never abandon me.
Sevilla Vivita. 