Monthly Archives: January 2012

Late Night Dreams


2 p.m. Housing details received.

Name of my host mom, my roomate, and my new home adress included.

6 p.m. Conversation with my close friend.

“Are you nervous and excited for Spain??”

“Hmm, honestly, I haven’t thought about it that much.”

“But you’ve been planning for a year. You had photoshopped a picture of yourself in Sevilla and put it above your bed.”

“….OK let me clarify, that was a gift from a friend. I don’t even know how to-”

“You just seem so calm about the whole thing.”

“I guess it just hasn’t hit me quite yet.”

8 p.m.

Should I take these boots? Will I need more shorts… or more jeans? This is a nice dress. I could wear that in Spain. Why is this suitcase so small???

Why do I still feel like I’m packing for a weekend trip to San Diego ?

Muffin… get out of my suitcase.

He can come with, right?

3 a.m.

My eyes open 6 hours earlier than they should. The room is pitch black. I can hear the waves of the ocean near my house crashing onto the shore. But that’s not what suddenly worries me.

OK. I’m living in Spain in 9 days. Oh.. my….goodness.

Passport. Euros. Packing. Calling home. School. New friends. Walking. Flying. Traveling. Eating. Culture.

It’s funny how everything suddenly seems so much more urgent late at night.

What if I get lost in Seville? What if I can’t communicate with other people? What if…

Thank the Lord I can’t keep my eyes open for more than a minute when I wake up at night. Otherwise, I don’t know how long this would go on for.


I’m going to tell myself these little worries are normal. I’m more excited than anything else, and my only moments of anxiety appear at night when I have nothing else to distract me.

My confidence soared a little when I bartered in Spanish for a poncho in Little Mexico, a Spanish-speaking part of San Diego, last weekend. Okay, okay, maybe I can do this. 

In fact, I know I can because I am ready for a change of scenery.

A Spanish proverb reads:

“Con un cambio de actividad se renuevan las energías.”

“A change is as good as a rest.”

I’ll just say that a change is even better.